The barge that ran aground at Sunset Beach has spawned all sorts of unusual tributes.
There have been English Bay Barges made out of gingerbread, recreated with 3D printing, and turned into tree ornaments. What it was missing, however, was a musical tribute.
The epic tale of the English Bay Barge required an equally epic song and what Canadian song is more epic than "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot?
Accordingly, here is "The Wreck of the English Bay Barge."
Looking for the lyrics? We've got you covered.
The Wreck of the English Bay Barge
The legend was born on a cold Monday morn
On the bay the Salish* call I虂7iy虛el虛shn
The bay, so they say, is a peril to sail
When the winds of November start whooshin’
If fully weighed down, might have sailed through Howe Sound
But the English Bay Barge, it was empty
Before the uproar, it was anchored offshore
When the gales of November came early
The ship, she was owned by a company known
By the name of Sentry Marine Towing
As the big barges go, it was bigger than most
With no crew when the northwinds were blowin’
The weather reports warned the cities and ports
Of a big bad atmospheric river
The floodgates of heaven turned up to eleven
And the northwinds are going to give ‘er
The wind downed some wires and lawn chairs became flyers
As the storm came to visit Vancouver
As the winds soared, the bay barge was unmoored
With no captain aboard to maneuver
The ship was a smidge short of the Burrard Bridge
Which was shut down in case it came crashin’
No one was sure where it might come ashore
When the gales of November came slashin'
There was nothing to do as the barge sailed through
No one to blame or to keelhaul
No one could save, with the winds and the waves,
The barge ‘fore it crashed at the seawall
Vancouverites met at the Beach of Sunset
Each filming the scene with their cell phone
For they all could see it would soon be a meme
And their social accounts would be well known
The city, they tried when it came to high tide
But everyone ‘round was astounded
The toughest tugboat couldn’t make the barge float
And pull it from where it was grounded
So the barge remains docked — it is tied to a rock
Like it needs any extra securin’
They say there’s no leak that could foul False Creek
Where the pleasure boats dump all their urine
So they put up a sign in an oddly short time
They named it the Beach of Barge Chilling
But some were surprised that it was vandalized
With the actual name of I虂7iy虛el虛shn
Long months have proved it’ll never be moved
It’s unsightly and really quite large
The NIMBYs will say there’s no view of the bay
Just the wreck of the English Bay Barge
---
*I have been informed that the Squamish call the bay "I虂7iy虛el虛shn" and not the Salish. I sincerely apologize for the error.
