Dear Lisi: I work in an office and we’re back together in person several days a week. I’m a marathon runner, so I often run to work and run home. I don’t live very far, but I enjoy it and it helps with my training.
We have a private bathroom in the office, where I get cleaned up and dressed for the day. I’m rarely late as a result of my wardrobe change. Then I go to my desk, get to work and eat my breakfast, which usually consists of a healthy protein bowl with yogurt, nuts, fruit, etc.
It never occurred to me that I was bothering anyone, because I can’t figure out what I’m doing that’s offensive. However, one of my work colleagues has started harassing me. She bangs on the bathroom door when I’m inside changing; drops donuts and sticky buns on my desk (no napkin, so making a mess of my workplace); and making fun of my “skinny little legs,” as she calls them.
The irony is that she is grossly overweight, so much so that she needed a special chair purchased for her desk and she utilizes two cubicle spaces as one. I have never made any comments to her, only hellos when we pass in the office.
Why is she targeting me?
Is skinny shaming a thing?
Your sign-off is a perfect segue to my answer because people get really upset about fat-shaming. So skinny-shaming should be treated similarly, but it’s not.
Try talking gently to this woman. Ask if you’ve offended her and if so, apologize. But if the harassment gets worse, you’ll have to file a complaint with your HR department.
Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists for the Star and based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions via email: [email protected].
