One year ago while John Baker was in his kitchen feeding his cats Fang and Claw and his wife Deb Pickman plated their Chinese take-out, John had a stroke.
It was scary, but what happened over the next 12 months is a lesson in how a proactive attitude, hard work and a sense of humour can help get you through tough times. It was a wild ride for the couple, but it's a lesson a sourpuss like me needs to hear on a regular basis. (Full disclosure: I am Deb's friend.)
I sat down with John in his cozy living room Jan. 26, exactly one year to the day he ended up at Â鶹´«Ã½Ó³»General Hospital unable to say his or his wife's name, though when asked who Deb was, he paused and then replied smiling, "My gorgeous girlfriend."
The laughs have never stopped, even when he pulled his underwear over his trousers one morning, which had John in hysterics. Deb laughed, too, though she was secretly terrified.
A slim, silver-haired 63yearold, John is on top of the world and planning a celebratory evening with Deb-a good dinner, then dancing or a movie. "We are definitely celebrating," he says, his grin spreading from ear to ear.
While he talks, John, who has dropped 30 pounds since his stroke (or "stork" as he first could say it) stumbles over some words. He also has trouble when numbers are mixed in with letters and struggles with reading aloud.
"I was also the repository of frequently used phone numbers but I lost all that because of the stroke," says John, nonchalantly.
While I expect to see some embarrassment or frustration when he trips over words, there is none. It is what it is with John.
That may sound meaningless, but not when you know John's work relies heavily on clear communication. John is sole proprietor of a consultant's business that requires him to facilitate and lead meetings in the business sector. He has to talk-a lot.
Luckily, his clients, who John felt it was important to inform them of his stroke, want to keep hiring him. "We still want you because we value what you provide," many of them told him. Following a big presentation to land a new client, the company said upon learning of his stroke that he was even more valuable to them for his courage.
If there is a benefit to a stroke, John has found many. "My sister told me she finds me more accessible now than before the stroke. 'You're so quick and intellectual that I barely understood what you were saying before you were onto the next thing,'" John recalls her saying. "I've grown from this experience emotionally. I'm much more present with people."
When John was discharged after about a week's stay in the hospital, he was told he'd have a three-month wait to see a speech therapist at GF Strong. At home, he and Deb read inspirational and insightful books and articles on strokes, but none offered exercises to get John's brain and mouth working in sync again. Or as John puts it, "We had nothing actionable to do." Other than improving his diet, which played a huge role in his recovery, getting more exercise and rehabilitating his fingers by buttoning and unbuttoning one of Deb's dresses that had 50 buttons, John didn't know what else to do. A neighbour, who is cognitive psychologist, recommended Minimal Pairs. (Pronouncing words such as receive/sieve and eel/ill etc.) It got them fired up. Deb turned into a drill master-a loving one of course-and John got to work. If there's one bit of advice they'd like to share, it's to start speech work immediately-even if it's just in small amounts. They also applied the Pomodoro Technique (a time management tool) to help with fatigue and avoid burn-out from speech exercises.
John also joined a Toast Masters group, "where I can talk in front of a group in a supportive environment." He meets regularly with another stroke patient to read books aloud to each other (current novel is The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo) and has a weekly coffee with Heart and Stroke volunteer Tiffany, who suffered a brain injury but is now recovered, before she heads off to work. John returned almost fully to work last September and admits there have been challenges. But he takes pride in his efforts of the last year. Life threw him a curve ball, but he sees it as grist for the mill.
"I'm totally optimistic. It's a chapter in my life that launched me onto a new trajectory. It's about creating a whole new set of possibilities. It's not about getting back to the way it was before the stroke. Frankly, it's very exciting. I don't feel the full depth of my growth has been revealed. There is still stuff to be revealed."
Hey John, can you bottle some of what you got for me?
[email protected] Twitter: @HughesFiona
