As dismal as it may sound I have been to two funerals in the last three months. First I lost my paternal grandmother this winter. She passed away at the ripe old age of 102. The ceremony was solemn and traditional. It was my first taste of losing someone truly close to my heart.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended another funeral and it was nothing like I expected. For the purposes of the story Ill refer to the late relative as Uncle. Uncle was born in the mid 30s in Vancouver. Uncle was a lawyer and began his practice in the 1960s in Chinatown. Even after his retirement years, he continued his practice until last year and only stopped because of cancer.
As I entered the chapel, the room was full pew to pew, wall to wall with friends, clients, and family that came to pay their final respects. His daughter began the ceremony with a touching speech about her memories of her father and his love for his grandchildren. She did this bravely, movingly and with a smile on her face. How proud he must be.
The next speaker, a retired lawyer, was an old classmate back from when Uncle studied at UBC where he also met his wifeAunty. His classmate took us through a 50 year journey about a young man he met who was very studious, charismatic and popular. He had a great sense of humour and loved practical jokes.
Then a final speaker was a friend from Uncles golfing group (Uncle loved to golf). They were also travel buddies. This gentleman took us through a few humorous stories of their travels together. One time Uncle ended up drenched in a pond searching for a golf ball which he never found. Another time, Uncle was leading a group onto a ferry in Hong Kong and warning everyone of pickpockets. But he was the one who fell victim to someones stealthy hands.
Then we were led to Bangkok. Uncles friend explained how one evening they (and their wives) inadvertently ended up in a night club. He added, It was the most impressive display of vaginal muscle I had ever seen. The name of the night club was called The P---y Hut.
My mouth fell open. I couldnt believe this man probably pushing 70 or more was seriously going to tell us this story. Can you say those words at a funeral? It felt more like an adult comedy act and I can only describe it as a cross between Margaret Cho and Russell Peters.
Some of us laughed and a few werent quite sure how to act. Uncles friend illustrated vivid images of darts flying and popping balloons, and even ping pong balls shot into the audience. He described how Uncles wife, a germaphobe, had yelled in disgust, Dont touch the balls! He explained: You see, when balls come flying at you, you instinctively either catch them or hit back. At this point the entire chapel moved from chuckles to pure laughter. There were tears but only from laughing so hard. Uncles friend ended his talk on a moving note which left us with a few tears but still with chuckles in our belly. Some people even clapped.
This was probably the most upbeat funeral I have ever attended in my life. It was a true celebration of a man who was well liked and loved by all who knew him. He was a man that enjoyed life and lived it. At the reception, I overheard Aunty say, Hes so happy youre all here. Hes smiling down on us, hes smiling...
That afternoon was a reminder not to focus so much on the destination. Were all going to get there. But its truly all about the journey and those you share it with. What did I learn from those twice my age that afternoon? The basics: To live, love, and laugh. And hey, we all should try to go to Bangkok.
Returning home, my husband, who was watching the kids, asked me how it went. I turned to him and said, It was fun.
R.I.P., Uncle, you will be missed.
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Susan Wong is a Â鶹´«Ã½Ó³»resident and past contributor to Reader Soapbox.
