Amardeep Bains and I are sitting in one of guest suites that rim the interior of Rogers Arena. It鈥檚 WE Day, a motivational extravaganza that empowers teenagers to 鈥渢ransform communities and change lives鈥�, and we鈥檙e early.
Amardeep is 13.聽 Intrigued by Rory Gilmore鈥檚 decision to become a journalist in the television series Gilmore Girls, he鈥檇 reached out to me several days earlier to ask if he could jobshadow us at the Courier office. However, as exciting as being a journalist can indeed be, reporters spend an awful lot of time staring at our computer screens. Writing is not a team activity.
I thought that joining me at WE Day, with the chance to go backstage, would be much more likely to transform his interest in journalism into a determination to make it happen.
As we waited for the throngs of teenagers to fill the 20,000 seats, I told Amardeep about a fascinating story in the New York Times Magazine that had given me pause:
The feature doesn鈥檛 put blame on the profiled teenagers and families. It acknowledges that the teens鈥� fears and anxieties are very real, and often debilitating. It also doesn鈥檛 try to find easy answers.
However, it does explore the enormous influence of social media on Amardeep鈥檚 generation.
The article quotes Jean Twenge, a psychologist who recently wrote iGen, a book about the generation that鈥檚 growing up in the Millennials鈥� wake. Although she was skeptical at first about a correlation between growing unhappiness rates and the increasingly ubiquitous presence of Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat in teenagers鈥� life, she says evidence is mounting that there鈥檚 a connection.
The feature also gently asks whether parents, in their hopes of providing an anxiety-free childhood, are actually contributing to teens鈥� high anxiety levels.
聽鈥淎nxiety is all about the avoidance of uncertainty and discomfort,鈥� the feature quotes Lynn Lyons, a psychotherapist and author. When parents protect children from anxiety-inducing situations, 鈥渨e don鈥檛 help kids learn to cope or problem-solve in the face of unexpected events.鈥�
Kids, it seems, need practice coping with fears and anxieties so that when the big stressors come 鈥� worrying about whether they鈥檒l have the grades to get into post-secondary schools, finding a job, or being dumped in a relationship 鈥� they don鈥檛 feel as overwhelmed.
I had been fascinated by the article and, waiting for WE Day to start, asked Amardeep about it.
鈥淲e take everything so personally,鈥� he says. 鈥淚f we see Selena Gomez, how famous she is, we want to be famous, too. When you see a photo of Taylor Swift in her house having a 4th of July party with her friends, you think 鈥楾his is what I want.鈥� Then, when we fail at something, we think we鈥檙e never going to be famous so we move on to the next thing. We鈥檙e like a train.鈥�
The media that iGen consumes 鈥� everything from television to Instagram 鈥攑rovides a distorted view of the world. Take the show Gilmore Girls, which is about a single mother, Lorelai Gilmore, and her daughter Rory. 鈥淗ow did Lorelai afford the that big old house on the salary of someone who works at an inn? But we think, 鈥業f Lorelai Gilmore has it, I want it, too鈥�.鈥�
鈥淵ou never hear someone say, 鈥業 want to be a construction worker鈥� because then you鈥檒l never be as rich as you want to be. That鈥檚 what we鈥檙e so scared of, the future.鈥�
These high standards are everywhere in our culture, he says. They are what is held up as normal even though they don鈥檛 reflect most lives.
Amardeep says 鈥淥ur generation has to learn how to be ourselves but we鈥檙e too busy being someone else. Try everything you can and don鈥檛 be devastated if you fail.鈥�
WE Day was founded by brothers Marc and Craig Keilburger. They were not yet teenagers when they felt inspired to petition the Canadian government to fight against child labour, and, invigorated by their success, created what became Free the Children. Empowering youth to help others became their life mission.
They founded We to Me, which has transformed itself into WE Day, a loud, boisterous one-day philanthropy rally to reward and encourage young people to do some good in this world. Every teen in Rogers Arena had to earn their way there by demonstrating some of those leadership skills.
鈥淐hange begins with you,鈥� said nine-year-old This Is Us actor Lonnie Chavis, who focused on the legacy of Muhammed Ali. 鈥淗e understood the importance of spreading kindness and compassion.鈥�
Ali鈥檚 exhortation to 鈥淒on鈥檛 count the days; make the days count鈥� epitomized the goal of We Day.
鈥淒ecide today that you鈥檒l lead a life filled with passion,鈥� said 麻豆传媒映画businessman and philanthropist Lorne Segal, this city. 鈥淎s someone once told me, 鈥業f your dreams don鈥檛 scare you, they鈥檙e not big enough.鈥欌��
However, to bring it back to the points that Amardeep was making, WE Day also illustrates that when it comes to iGen, the medium needs to be the message, too. It was famous people telling the teens to be themselves. Presentations were brief, the stagecraft was bedazzling and the music was designed to make the audience feel part of something momentous and life-changing.
As the lights dimmed for the musical acts 鈥� a Gord Downie tribute, Sonreal, Grace Vanderwaal and Hedley 鈥� the arena seats sparkled with dancing lights. It was the teenagers waving their smartphones the way their grandparents held up lighters at a rock concert. There were thousands of phones, their glow turned outward for a few minutes at least.
