This weekend, wide swaths of Main Street in Mount Pleasant and Denman Street in the West End will be closed to vehicle traffic for something called 鈥� also known as the Day Angry Old People Go On Facebook, Use the Phrase 鈥楳ayor Moonbeam鈥� and Complain about Bike Lanes. Just kidding, that鈥檚 everyday on Facebook.
The annual street festival that 鈥渞eclaims traffic thoroughfares as community focused public spaces鈥� has grown in popularity since it started in 2008. So much so, that it鈥檚 nearly impossible to find parking for those who choose to drive to the event in honour of not driving. It鈥檚 a real conundrum. Here are some tips to finding that killer parking spot for you and your sweet ride:
Park in residential parking
Sure, you might get towed or ticketed, and you鈥檒l surely annoy residents of the neighbourhood you鈥檙e car-squatting in, but you won鈥檛 be denied. You are a driver. And drivers drive. Roll down the window and let freedom blow through your driver hair as you crawl through traffic at a skin-rippling 20 km an hour. Heck, you could probably get to Marpole in 40 minutes if you really want to live on the edge. And you do. Because the edge is where danger plays.
Park on someone鈥檚 lawn
Despite what you鈥檝e been led to believe with your eyes and mind, lots of people actually possess lawns in Vancouver. Find those people鈥檚 lawns and park on them. They won鈥檛 mind. They probably won鈥檛 even notice. The people who are renting out the house with a lawn through Airbnb might notice but not the owners of the house with a lawn. They鈥檙e probably somewhere else that鈥檚 way cheaper and listening to on repeat. Is there any other way?
Park in an alley
Alleys aren鈥檛 just cool places to shoot music videos or run an underground cock-fighting league, they are oases of free parking. Once again, towing, ticketing and the disapproval of those in the neighbourhood come with the territory, but the risk is worth it. Because risk is the neighbour of danger, which lives on the edge, and once rented a basement suite from phallic insecurity.
Drive in circles
If you鈥檙e one of those lame-o鈥檚 who think it鈥檚 beneficial to show their kids the joys of reclaimed thoroughfares and community spaces that lack cool cars, and you still can鈥檛 find parking, you can always drive AROUND the Car Free Day event, dropping your kids off at one end and picking them up at the other. It should take about the same time to walk the 20-block stretch as it will be to drive, so it鈥檚 a win-win.
Park next to transit
By driving to the bus stop or rapid transit station 鈥� even if it鈥檚 just a block or two away from your home 鈥� you are reclaiming your car鈥檚 dominance. You are placing your mighty car back atop the transportation food chain where it belongs. Like a lioness feasting on a gazelle. Keep this image in your mind as you saunter down Main Street or Denman this weekend, drinking over-priced coconut water that you spent 20 minutes in a lineup for. You are the lioness who walks on the edge, where danger plays, next to the basement suite rented by phallic insecurity. And that basement suite comes with its own parking spot.
听
听听
听 听听听
