Josh Neufeld has a special affinity for turkey necks.
It鈥檚 not that they taste particularly good, nor were they a staple on his plate since childhood.
Neufeld鈥檚 late father Dietmar loved the neck. It was his go-to whenever turkey was served at a holiday meal.
Dietmar died in September 2015 after a brief battle with cancer.
Thanksgiving dinner that year was the first family gathering after Dietmar鈥檚 death.
鈥淚 sat in his spot and in his honour, I ate the whole neck and blubbered like a buffoon because it was like 鈥極K, this is our life now,鈥欌�� Josh recalled. 鈥淚t鈥檚 four Christmases later, but still that feeling doesn鈥檛 change. It sucks.鈥�
Outside of the culinary nod, Neufeld continues to pay tribute to his father in a manner that鈥檚 profoundly personal, yet completely universal.
Neufeld鈥檚 website Grief Narratives invites people the world over to share their photos, thoughts, feelings and emotions as they experience death in their own unique way.
The online platform has garnered interest across Europe and as far away as South Africa.
The site was born partly out of Neufeld鈥檚 experience photographing the end of his dad鈥檚 life, a project called Meeting Mortality.
Across roughly 30 photos, Neufeld documented the final 19 days of his father鈥檚 life in hospital.
鈥淢y dad never did see the photos, which really messes with my head,鈥� said Neufeld, a professional photographer by trade.
Neufeld hatched the idea in the spring of 2015 upon visiting a dying relative in California. His uncle was simultaneously battling Parkinson鈥檚 disease and cancer and sat the roughly 50 family members down to prepare them for the end.
鈥淵ou walk away from a conversation like that and you鈥檙e like, OK, that really realigns priorities and shifts perspective and helps you look at life a little differently,鈥� Neufeld said.
Volunteering at a hospice was to be Neufeld鈥檚 next step but Dietmar fell ill before his son could find a volunteer placement.
Dietmar was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on July 13 and died Sept. 9. He was 66. He was the department head of classical, near eastern and religious studies at UBC, an avid cyclist and loved taking the piss.
鈥淗im and I would spend hours out by the fire chatting,鈥� Neufeld recalled. 鈥淗e could go deep about anything religious and he taught ancient Greek language. But then he could also sit there and shoot the shit about the most meaningless, stupid stuff.鈥�
Documenting the end was done so with his Dietmar鈥檚 blessing. He also came up with the name 鈥淢eeting Mortality.鈥� Neufeld discussed the idea with his mom and three sisters and got buy-in, though not totally.
鈥淢y oldest sister doesn鈥檛 really like to look at those photos,鈥� Neufeld said. 鈥淏ut I think they just understood where it was coming from.鈥�
Neufeld has since gone on to photograph the end of days for other families. Last year, he interviewed 22 people about their experiences confronting mortality, taking photos as they spoke.
He hopes to expand Grief Narratives into a multi-media platform where users can pay tribute to loved ones via text, photos, video and other media.
It鈥檚 a project not necessarily intended to normalize death, but to give community and a space to reflect for those who need it.
鈥淚 hope it becomes something people use and find value in,鈥� he said. 鈥淚鈥檓 trying to show people that it鈥檚 an option. It鈥檚 not going to be for everyone.鈥�
Neufeld鈥檚 work can be seen online at and .
@JohnKurucz
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