Sebastian Bach鈥檚 unpredictable temper. Jello Biafra鈥檚 weird see-though shower. Bizarre run-ins with world leaders. Art Bergmann鈥檚 unmentionables.
Nardwuar the Human Serviette has stories. Thirty years鈥� worth of them.
To mark his improbably strange, hilarious and at times painfully awkward career, the unconventional media personality will serve up 20 hours of continuous programming on UBC鈥檚 CiTR Radio Sept. 21 and 22, followed by an all-ages gig with his band the Evaporators at the Hall in East Van on Sept. 23.
The Courier attempted to dissect Nardwuar鈥檚 nuts and bolts in a 45-minute long interview that simultaneously went everywhere and nowhere. Tens of millions of YouTube hits, a stint on MuchMusic, a 17-year friendship with Snoop Dogg and haphazard encounters with Mikhail Gorbachev and former Prime Minister Jean Chretien 鈥� these are just some of the highlights of Nardwuar鈥檚 49 years on the planet.
But first, the essentials:
- Born John Ruskin, Nardwuar became Nardwuar when his CiTR radio show got off the ground in October 1987.
- Nardwuar was a slang term he and his friends used to refer to 鈥渙ld people.鈥�
- His signature tartan tam was not always his go-to headwear. Instead, he preferred a toque, until Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach stole it mid-interview in a fit of rage in 1994. Bach also smashed a VHS tape of Nardwuar鈥檚 containing interviews with former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, George Clinton and Sandra Bernhard.
- His favourite interview subjects have been Iggy Pop on the phone and Chretien in person (more on that later).
- The first song Nardwuar played on air was 鈥淧sycho鈥� by Pacific Northwest garage rockers the Sonics.
On the topic of firsts, Nardwuar鈥檚 first interview took place Sept. 26, 1985 with Art Bergmann, who at the time was playing in 麻豆传媒映画band Poisoned. The interview was filmed at Hillside secondary school in West Vancouver, where Nardwuar served as student council president. Before the interview took place, Nardwuar saw Bergmann getting changed into his stage duds.
鈥淭he first time I did an interview I looked up and I saw Art Bergmann鈥檚 c***,鈥� he recalled. 鈥淎nd every interview I鈥檝e done since has been pretty crazy, but it鈥檚 hard to top seeing c*** at your very first interview.鈥�
Around that same time, Nardwuar asked the Dead Kennedys to play his senior prom. He got a letter back from the seminal punk band鈥檚 management suggesting they couldn鈥檛 do the gig on account they were touring Brazil. Fifteen years later, Nardwuar鈥檚 band the Evaporators were signed to Alternative Tentacles, the record label owned by former Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra.
Biafra has since told Nardwuar the Brazilian tour was a cop-out.
The two now go shopping for records together.
鈥淛ello鈥檚 house is amazing, it is filled with records and I used some records as a pillow,鈥� Nardwuar said. 鈥淎nd also, he has a shower in his house [that is] completely see through. So like, you can see the c*** of whoever is taking a shower.鈥�
Stories like that roll off Nardwuar鈥檚 tongue like they鈥檙e simple, everyday occurrences. There was that time in 1993 when, at a press conference, he asked Gorbachev which world leader wore the biggest pants.
鈥淗e kind of smirked and then the mic was cut off,鈥� Nardwuar said. 鈥淎fterwards I was rushed by security but I showed them my pass, that I was legitimately there. So they let me go. There was no problem.鈥�
In the 1997 Chretien incident, Nardwuar asked the then-prime minister a hypothetical: if Chretien were 40 years younger, would he be in a punk band, writing protest songs to combat the social ills of the day? Nardwuar mentioned that APEC conference demonstrators had been pepper sprayed, a point lost in translation on the former PM.
Cue up the now infamous, 鈥淔or me, pepper, I put it on my plate.鈥�
鈥淚 was like, 鈥極h my god, I can鈥檛 believe he said that,鈥欌�� Nardwuar recalled. 鈥淚 thought 鈥楾his is it, I鈥檓 going to get taken away.鈥欌��
While Chretien and countless others have been game, not everyone is keen on Nardwuar鈥檚 shtick: there was the Bach debacle, Beck blacklisted him, Henry Rollins and Nas seemingly hate him and Josh Homme once told him he had the 鈥渂reath of the ass of an apple.鈥�
鈥淚 was like, 鈥楾hat is not too good,鈥� so now I drink water,鈥� he said. 鈥淏ut when I think of the stuff people have said to me, not really too much sinks in.鈥�
Some things have stuck. Each interview starts with the question 鈥淲ho are you?鈥� and ends with Nardwuar offering up 鈥渄oot doola doot doo,鈥� while the accompanying artist completes the phrase with 鈥渄oot doo.鈥� The inspiration for this exchange comes from organists at hockey games.
Another constant is Nardwuar鈥檚 dogged research and presenting of gifts to interviewees. He maintains that he pays for everything and conducts all the pre-interview research himself. Pharrell Williams told him their 2008 conversation was 鈥渙ne of the most impressive interviews I鈥檝e ever experienced in my life.鈥�
His antics have paid the bills since his on-air days at MuchMusic in the 鈥�90s. The only 鈥渞eal鈥� jobs he鈥檚 had have been leading tours of the CiTR facility and delivering newspapers.
Speaking of papers, Nardwuar鈥檚 nearly two-decade relationship with Snoop Dogg inevitably comes up. The oddball pairing has made roughly 10 interviews worth of weirdness, with the rapper even inviting Nardwuar to his California abode.
鈥淚鈥檝e tried for 10 years to get to his place 鈥� no luck,鈥� Nardwuar said.
The stories are endless and will presumably roll out in full as part of his 20-hour marathon running from 9 p.m. on Sept. 21 until 5 p.m. on Sept. 22. The Sept. 23 gig kicks off at 7 p.m. Tickets are available online, at Neptoon, Red Cat or Zulu Records.
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@JohnKurucz
