Great love stories speak of never ending love that endures the obstacles that life throws at it and circumstances that challenge perseverance. I spent the weekend at a baby shower for a friend and her loving husband. They appeared to be so happy with all their hopes and dreams shining through their smiles as they wait for their little one to arrive. As I retired from a day of what could only be a learning experience of all the accessories that comes with being a mom to be, I thought about great love stories and how they can create hope long after its disappeared from our lives.
The people we love can change our experiences and open us up to seeing things in a novel way. Although we have memories of positive experiences of love, it is often overshadowed by our to do lists, emails, work or technology. The image of sitting on a beach and reflecting with your feet up while sipping on sangria is a mere mirage when reality weighs in. However, just reflecting on your love stories or those of others can renew your spark for love and life.
My grandfather inspired one of my best love stories to date. When I was a young girl growing up in Singapore, he would take me to church every Sunday afternoon to view weddings. We were promised ice cream after church if we were good. This made me and my older sister excited and more than happy to oblige. I remember it always seemed sunny on Sundays as the suns rays shone through the churchs stained glass pouring down a spectrum of colours onto the floor. I would swing my feet back and forth, both of which were too short to touch the ground. We sat quietly in the back waiting for something to happen.
As the music began, a woman dressed in the most beautifully white beaded gown would walk down the aisle towards a man whose breath was surely taken away by the sight of her. I did not understand why these regular visits to weddings were so important to my grandfather till later on in my life. It was his wish that I see what true love looked like since my grandparents divorced when my father was a teenager. Turmoil was always present in their relationship.
The passing of my grandfather left the memory of what he attempted to instill in me about what love looked like between two people. The knowledge and hope he passed on to me has inspired my work in understanding love and helping others find and hold on to it. It doesnt have to be your own love story that inspires you. The love stories of others can also inspire for a lifetime and are certainly worth more than the bargain of an ice cream in exchange.
My friend who was a DJ has a love story about commitment and love that breaks conventional standards. He was hired to DJ a womans 70th birthday surrounded by her closest friends and family. She had a son and has been with her partner for over 40 years. As the night wore on, her partner calmed the room down to make an announcement. He got down on one knee, professed his undying love to her and proposed. His choice to commit to a woman he loved was enough to keep him there for 40 years, and it was not about to stop.
It still surprises me that when I ask people to talk about love they often tell me tales of sadness and heartbreak. A simple switch to engage in good memories may be just what you need to bring more love into your day. Take the good and leave the bad behind because your future deserves only the good. For me, love is the person who has made me smile for the last seven years with the greatest of ease. He has cried by my side and always reminded me of the person I was, am and will be. And if all that fails, love will still be there.
What are some of your love stories?
Dont be sad because it is over. Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
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Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
