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I have received an overwhelming amount of responses from people inquiring about dating in 麻豆传媒映画and why it seems to be located in the Bermuda Triangle of dating. Men say that 麻豆传媒映画women are not like women from anywhere else. Women tell me that 麻豆传媒映画men are not genuine.

So what is it about 麻豆传媒映画that sets our dating scene apart from anywhere else? Men are expressing their frustration about 麻豆传媒映画women playing hard to get while always being on the hunt for the next bigger and better thing. Men in 麻豆传媒映画also report that women are often inconsistent in their interest regarding relationships. This sparked an interest that motivated me to focus on the other half of the picture. I asked women what are some of the big obstacles to finding a relationship in Vancouver. The answer from women in the city included mens reluctance in approaching them. This hesitancy, the women said, is seemingly paired with a sense of arrogance. In both cases, they share a common characteristic in that both men and women perceive a sense of non-commitment from their partner of interest.

It was particularly interesting to me as a researcher how perceptions influence the interaction and dynamic necessary for behaviour. If men perceive that women are hard to get and the chance of rejection is high after committing time and energy towards the possibility of a long-term relationship, they are less likely to approach a women based on a cost-benefit ratio. As a result, men are approaching women less and connecting on a level that lowers the impact of rejection as a form of protecting their sense of self.

As I examined this phenomenon closely, I noticed that this stretched beyond just the battle of sexes. Living in a city increases access to meeting people but it also increases the amount of options and choices available to us. Choice allows us to tailor most things to exactly what we want. Recent studies have shown that increases in options decrease satisfaction in the choices we make. When people are bombarded with a high number of options, they are less likely to make a choice because they feel overwhelmed. Even when we do make a choice, we are often less satisfied with it in comparison to an instance where a lower number of options are made available. People often feel less satisfied because they compare what they have with potential options that were available to them. Opportunity cost can sometimes make you feel like you made the wrong choice. However, when you focus on lost options you are investing in an imagined versus experienced happiness.

If the concept of opportunity cost is involved in the dynamics between men and women, its no wonder that we see a decrease in commitment. The number of options paired with focusing on opportunity cost leaves us paralyzed to make a decision. Although we may whole-heartedly believe we want a long-term partner, when we choose not to commit we are engaging in the ultimate act of procrastination.

It is important that we invest in our lived happiness and attempt to understand our partner. Our perceptions may influence how we orient to others and we often attend to what supports our assumptions. By understanding what your potential partners fears and vulnerabilities are you may be able to approach him or her in a way that encourages safety and openness.

No choice is the wrong choice as long as you make a choice. The only wrong choice is choosing not to make one.

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Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Submit comments or questions on relationships you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.