This Thanksgiving weekend, my family like many others will gather to offer grace-a prayer in appreciation for that which we have.
Grace has many meanings: a prayer before meals; unmerited, unearned assistance; the state of being considerate or thoughtful; and ease of movement or bearing.
The word, grace encompasses two keys to both health and happiness: grace in attitude and action.
Grace in Attitude:
When many pray, they pray for that which they do not have. Their prayers are petitions for what they want or need. The cup may seem half full-or empty with a deep longing to be filled.
Grace is different; it is a recognition of that which we have been given through grace. Again, what we have has been given without merit; they are gifts unearned.
To offer grace before a meal-great or small, primes us for appreciation-for our food and those with whom we may share it.
I instruct my family to follow my morning ritual of a meditation of appreciation- before rising from bed, be thankful for that which we have: family and friends, work or school, a home, food, clothing, and the day of life before us.
To begin each day with an attitude of gratitude primes us to see the positives and extrapolated to the challenges of each day, can make the difference between feeling unhappy, dissatisfied or frustrated and feeling fortunate, happy and empowered.
Our attitudes are infectious. If parents begin their mornings with complaints, they can frame their children's days with negativity and criticism. Misery creates company.
But when we recognize the good in our children, lovingly guiding them when they falter, we can create greater happiness and help them towards their potentials.
The happiest and healthiest of my patients share an attitude of appreciation. They accept and cope with the realities of aging while appreciating what is still working well in their lives. They accept the loss of loved ones, appreciating the blessings of those relationships over the years. They cope with illness, accident and disease, knowing that I will work with them in rising to those challenges.
Grace in Action:
Though we don't always get what we want or deserve, we must accept the conditions of our lives as well as the responsibility to make the most of them. To walk in grace is to accept that life is not a straight line to the life of your dreams. It is the act of moving forward in spite of the inevitable challenges and detours yet still guided by the compass of our deepest values and greatest goals.
The alternative is to react in anger, surrender our self-determination or give up all hope, but this does not move us one step forward. The attitude of helplessness over time leads to anxiety; the attitude of hopelessness leads to depression.
Individuals who have learned to successfully self-manage their chronic health conditions, such as diabetes, hypertension, heart disease or chronic lung disease and work in partnership with their health care providers feel more empowered and remain healthier than others who maintain a passive role in their care.
Grace in attitude and action are the keys to both health and happiness. Accept graciously the gifts you have been given, and accept the responsibility to make the most of them.
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a physician and writer. His Healthwise column appears regularly in this paper. For more on healthy attitudes and positive change, read his posts at davidicuswong.wordpress.com and listen to his Positive Potential Medicine podcast at wgrnradio.
