I think we can all agree that beer is awesome, otherwise why would you be reading this right now. However, there are times when you might want something to drink without any alcohol in it. Maybe you鈥檙e the designated driver, maybe you have health issues or, maybe, if you鈥檙e like Dogwood Brewing owner/brewer Claire Wilson, you鈥檙e pregnant or breastfeeding.
Whatever the reason, just because you can鈥檛 have alcohol doesn鈥檛 mean you can鈥檛 have beer, right? Non-alcoholic beer is a thing, after all.
Except that 鈥渘ear beer鈥� doesn鈥檛 exactly have the greatest reputation. For years, there were only one or two options available at the grocery store, and they all tasted like watery garbage.
That鈥檚 changing, however. In recent years,craft alternatives have been popping up, domestic macro brands have been reformulating their recipes and European import brands have entered the market. There are more alcohol-free beer options available than ever, and with so many choices, where do you even begin?
With that in mind, Wilson and I sat down at Dogwood one hot, sunny day with seven of the most popular near beers available in B.C. to figure out which one was best (or least worst, anyways).
Methodology: We rated the beers out on a scale of 0-10, based on the likelihood of someone throwing the beer back in your face if you served it to them without telling them it was a non-alcoholic beer (10 being they wouldn鈥檛 notice and 0 being a pint glass to the face).
Beer No. 1: Clausthaler Classic (0.49 per cent ABV)
The Growler: This one is clearly German, which I have high hopes for. Germans, as you know, take their beer pretty seriously. They take everything pretty seriously, actually. Let鈥檚 take a look at the ingredients鈥� water, barley malt, hop extract, 0.49 per centalcohol.
Wilson: That鈥檚 the threshold. 0.5 per centis the most alcohol you can have [in a non-alcoholic beer], so they are right on the threshold.It鈥檚 nice and clear, it smells like straw and wort.
Growler: Yeah, it smells very sweet, very grainy. It looks like beer, at least. It does not smell like it, though. It smells like beer that hasn鈥檛 been fermented yet.
Wilson: Yeah, that does taste quite sweet. It鈥檚 not terrible, but it doesn鈥檛 really taste like beer. It鈥檚 a lager style, but there鈥檚 no noticeable hop aroma. There is a tiny bit of hop bitterness to it.
Growler: Yeah, it鈥檚 so cloyingly sweet that the hop bitterness that is there isn鈥檛 enough to dry it out. The sweetness really lingers, it鈥檚 like a soda pop.
Wilson: It鈥檚 refreshing, but it鈥檚 not very reminiscent of a German lager.
- Score: 5/10
Beer No. 2: MADD Virgin Craft Brewed Lager (0.0 per cent ABV)
Wilson: So this is brewed at Niagara College. They鈥檝e had a brewing school there for ages.
Growler: Oh interesting. So this a lager made by MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, clearly to encourage people not to drink. And I guess they鈥檝e teamed up with Niagara College to brew this. And 10 per cent of net sales go to MADD Canada.
Wilson: This definitely smells oxidized, the aroma鈥檚 not as appealing as the other one. But it鈥檚 not as sweet.
Growler: Yeah, it鈥檚 definitely drier. To be honest, I don鈥檛 know how long this was sitting on the shelf. I feel like this is an old beer, and I鈥檓 getting a bit of that wet cardboard flavour. But beyond that, I really prefer this beer to the previous one. It鈥檚 not overly sweet, it鈥檚 got a bit of hop bitterness to it, it has a nice, dry finish.
Wilson: Yeah, it鈥檚 not that bad. Niagara is a teaching brewery, so they know what they鈥檙e doing.It would be interesting to try one that was in perfect condition. But even the off flavours are beer off flavours.
Growler: That鈥檚 true. This is absolutely a beer, and not a beer-flavoured soda pop.
Wilson: Not a good beer, mind you, but it鈥檚 beer.听
- Score: 6.5/10
Beer No. 3: Partake IPA (0.3 per cent ABV)
Growler: So this is interesting. This is definitely a craft take on non-alcoholic beer, it being an IPA. Brewed in Toronto. I hope there鈥檚 some hops in this.
Wilson: Yeah, that smells like an IPA. It鈥檚 got those Cascade hops, maybe some Citra.
Growler: Grapefruit, citrus, fruity. Definitely the best smelling of the beers we鈥檝e tried so far.
Wilson: This really does taste like beer. It鈥檚 enjoyable, the hops are lovely.
Growler: I quite like this, I鈥檓 shocked. If someone poured me this and didn鈥檛 tell me it was non-alcoholic, I鈥檇 never know.
Wilson: Without having the alcohol or having more body to balance it, they鈥檝e done a great job with the hops, because the hops are lovely. I鈥檓 impressed.
Growler: Completely agree. They are hitting what they are aiming for, and that is a beer drinker鈥檚 non-alcoholic beer.
Wilson: If I had known this was on the shelf when I was pregnant, I would have drank it.
- Score: 9/10
Beer No. 4: Budweiser Prohibition Lager
Growler: This is one that I鈥檓 most interested about, because I have a friend who doesn鈥檛 drink anymore and he swears by it. Which makes sense, because I feel like Bud would have the technology to do it right.
Wilson: Yeah, there鈥檚 two ways to make it, really. You brew it and don鈥檛 ferment it so it doesn鈥檛 have any alcohol, or you ferment the beer fully and vacuum distill the alcohol out of the beer. But it鈥檚 not cheap, that technology.
Growler: It smells a lot like a Budweiser, which is to say, like not much of anything. Faint grainy cereal, a bit rice-y. Nice head retention. Actually, that鈥檚 not terrible.
Wilson: I haven鈥檛 had a Budweiser for a while, but it tastes like a Budweiser. It鈥檚 clean, it鈥檚 not flawed.
Growler: It鈥檚 not sickly sweet, it has a crisp, dry finish. Of the lagers that we鈥檝e tried so far, this is clearly my favourite. There isn鈥檛 a ton of flavour 鈥� it鈥檚 a Budweiser after all, so that鈥檚 to be expected.
Wilson: I think that鈥檚 what they were trying to make, and I think they nailed it.
- Score: 8.5/10
Beer No. 5: O鈥橠oul鈥檚 (0.5 per cent ABV)
Wilson: When I think non-alcoholic beer, I think O鈥橠oul鈥檚.
Growler: Totally, I think it鈥檚 kind of become shorthand for non-alcoholic beer. For years it was the only option available.
Wilson: It鈥檚 the classic, for sure.
Growler: Again, a very boring, slightly grainy hop-less nose.
Wilson: Almost no character. It鈥檚 very easy to drink, though. There鈥檚 a tiny bit of bitterness to it, a tiny bit. But it doesn鈥檛 really feel like beer. It鈥檚 very balanced and it goes down like nothing, but that malty character isn鈥檛 really there.
Growler: It is refreshing. It鈥檚 light-bodied without being overly thin. I鈥檓 enjoying it the more I drink.
Wilson: Yeah, it doesn鈥檛 really have any flaws.
- Score: 7.5/10
Beer No. 6: Molson Exel (0.5% ABV)
Wilson: Two years ago, a friend of mine was pregnant and she asked me what non-alcoholic beers were any good, and I had no idea because I hadn鈥檛 tried any. So it鈥檚 good we鈥檙e doing this.
Growler: Have you ever tried to brew a non-alcoholic beer?
Wilson: When I was at Big River Brewing, they changed the drink driving rules and that really hurt our beer sales, so management encouraged me to brew a low alcohol beer. I used dark malts to give it a bit of colour and a bit of malty flavour. It fermented out to about 1.5 per cent, but it was so thin and so watery that it wasn鈥檛 that enjoyable to drink.
Growler: So Molson Exel. This one has been around for a while, as you can tell by its branding.
Wilson: It鈥檚 a 鈥渃lassic鈥� look for sure. This one smells a lot like Canadian, actually.
Growler: Yeah, no hops on the nose. It鈥檚 pretty thin, pretty watery. Not as sweet as some of the beers we鈥檝e tried.
Wilson: It鈥檚 still definitely sweet for a beer, but it鈥檚 not like a pop, like some of the others.
- Score: 7/10
Beer No. 7: Grolsch (0.5 per cent ABV)
Wilson: There鈥檚 a good head on this, it鈥檚 very clear.
Growler: Yeah, the others had very little head retention.
Wilson: This is very much in the same vein as the first one. It鈥檚 a very sweet and malty.
Growler: Considering the can says it鈥檚 fully fermented, it sure doesn鈥檛 taste like it.
Wilson: But look at the lacing!
Growler: That鈥檚 what鈥檚 most impressive about this beer, the head they鈥檝e managed to get on it. It鈥檚 not as watery as some of the other examples.
Wilson:Yeah, the carbonation is good, you鈥檙e getting that kind of sharpness on your tongue, but it鈥檚 just way too sweet. It鈥檚 very soda-like. It鈥檚 a malt soda, basically. It鈥檚 similar to the Clausthaler, so maybe that鈥檚 what Europeans expect in a non-alcoholic beer.
- Score: 6/10
The Verdict
- Gold: Partake IPA
- Silver: Budweiser Prohibition
- Bronze: O鈥橠oul鈥檚
For more beery adventures, go to .
听
