âIce cream with a twistâ is the slogan for a new soft serve ice cream shop opening up in downtown Vancouver. Except, based on their pre-opening marketing, Perverted Ice Creamâs âtwistâ isâŠsex.
Ice cream is lots of things: Indulgent, fun, celebratory, comforting, cross-generational. But kinky? There is the âice cream sceneâ in 50 Shades FreedâŠbut Iâm not sure we have a case of life imitating art here.
Slated to go into 797 Thurlow Street, Perverted Ice Cream recently posted a video teaser showing a very impressive continuous stream of what appears to be chocolate and vanilla twisted soft serve being swirled with pop-R&B singer Dawinâs âDessertâ playing:
But they canât duplicate you
âCause you got something special
That makes me wanna taste you
I want it all day long
Iâm addicted like itâs wrong
I want it all day long
Iâm addicted like itâsâ
Whatcha gonâ
Whatcha gonâ do with that dessert.â
Ìę
Ìę
If the dessert in question is a waffle cone filled with ice cream, well, sir, Iâm going to eat it. Maybe I donât need to know what youâre going to do with it. Just eating ice cream might be naughty as far as doctors are concerned thanks to the insidious nature of sugar, but is it, like, naughty naughty?
Do ice cream and sex need to go together? Does one need ample amounts of both in life to not find Perverted Ice Cream a little gross?
Hereâs a little more from their marketing. One of their hashtags: #whenicomeicecream.
Hey now.
And, yes, there are photos of an ice cream cone melting. Oooh, baby.
Ìę
Ìę
But then Perverted spanks us for thinking dirty. âWithâŠour tonguesâŠin our cheeksâ is a three-photo click-through for one Instagram words-only post. âA twistâŠon a classicâŠ#getyourmindoutofthegutterâ on another.
Theyâve got âNaked chocolateâ and vanilla that isnât vanilla (looks like itâs a ânaked creamâ flavour) and ânice ash,â (wink!) except ash is referring to the charcoal waffle cone. Okay. So they are clearly playing with us. Pun NOT intended. Maybe. I donât even know anymore.
There isnât much else to glean about Perverted Ice Cream (and I canât open their website itself on my work computer because apparently our servers have blocked anything âperverted.â Insert sobbing face emoji here), besides what theyâve put out there on social media.
Iâve reached out to Perverted Ice Cream via their Facebook page to see if they are available to chat about their soft serve and itâs sex-centric hard sell, and will happily update with their insights if they are willing to share. In the meantime, follow @pervertedicecream on Instagram to find out when theyâre coming. (Sorry, couldnât help it.)
