A play about eating disorder awareness for 10-14 year olds 鈥� So, How Should I Be? 鈥� at Presentation House Theatre, 333 Chesterfield Ave., North Vancouver, until Oct. 28. Tickets: or 604.990.3474.
Playwright Linda A. Carson is switching gears 鈥� and perspectives 鈥� while biking from Caulfeild Village to Horseshoe Bay on an unexpectedly pleasant October afternoon.
Carson鈥檚 mind is clear 鈥� she鈥檚 ready to face whatever life throws at her next. Forty years ago, however, a teenage Carson wasn鈥檛 so steady. But she made it through to the other side and she knows there鈥檚 no going backwards.
In the 1970s, eating disorders weren鈥檛 discussed. There were almost no resources to pull Carson out from the abyss.
鈥淭he message when I was growing up was: If you look like (the models in) those Coke commercials 鈥� it will solve all your problems,鈥� she says.
During her second year of university was when Carson hit rock bottom.
鈥淚 was in dire straits,鈥� she recalls.
But it was persistence that saved the young woman. If you don鈥檛 get the help you need from the first, second or even third health professional, keep searching 鈥� that鈥檚 Carson鈥檚 hard-learned advice.
She had a serendipitous moment that changed the trajectory of her life. Carson was in a bookstore, searching for yet another dieting guide, when a different book, The Deadly Diet, fell off the shelf at her.
Carson nourished her mind with the behaviour modification manual, which slowly walks readers through the process of overcoming eating disorders, step-by-step.
鈥淎nd that took me out the other side 鈥� the book The Deadly Diet,鈥� she says.
Penning a play about her experience with an eating disorder was cathartic for Carson. In 1992, she wrote Dying to Be Thin as her final project for Langara College鈥檚 Studio 58 theatre program.
鈥淲rite what you know,鈥� Carson recalls her instructor鈥檚 advice. 鈥淎nd I said: 鈥楾here鈥檚 this one thing I know a lot about.鈥欌��
Carson channelled her wit to break through locked doors and into the secret life of a young teenager battling with the eating disorder bulimia. During the first 20 minutes of Dying to Be Thin鈥檚 debut, Carson knew the play鈥檚 subject matter was relatable.
鈥淚 had my audience,鈥� she says.听
Dying to be Thin was picked up by Carousel Theatre, earned Carson a Jessie Award, and travelled across Canada. A quarter of a century has passed since then, and the playwright is disappointed.
鈥淚t鈥檚 kind of sad that it hasn鈥檛 gone away,鈥� says Carson, of eating disorders. 鈥淚n that time so much has changed, and yet so little. The messages to look and be a certain way are more ubiquitous than ever and the kids who take them in are getting younger and younger.鈥�
One theatre company was inundated with calls from elementary school teachers who were interested in Dying to be Thin because unhealthy obsessions were taking hold of young students.
It got Carson thinking a lot about her predicament.
鈥淎nd I said, 鈥楴o, you definitely can鈥檛 sell this to that age group 鈥� Dying to be Thin 鈥� it鈥檚 not written for them,鈥� she says, of the play geared towards late teens and young university students.
Carson then got to work penning a play, about eating disorders, aimed at 10-14 year olds. So, How Should I Be? made its premiere this week at Presentation House Theatre.
This play is a powerful vehicle to drive a conversation about body image 鈥� and to start early 鈥� in an era of unattainable perfection. The production touches on eating disorders, anxiety, and mental health issues with the goal of opening up dialogue and promoting resilience.
For three years, Carson and her co-collaborators searched for the right metaphor that would reach the impressionable audience, without lecturing them.
鈥淭en years ago you weren鈥檛 even allowed to mention the word eating disorder to children of that age group,鈥� says Carson. 鈥淭hey found that if they tell children about the specific nature of eating disorders, what exactly it is, the kids would go away and kind of use it as a recipe and actually get eating disorders from that information.鈥�
Carson picked up her metaphorical prop in Seattle last weekend. It鈥檚 a life-size balloon that the play鈥檚 characters can use to escape from the outside world, while on a set surrounded by five cellphone towers.
Carson鈥檚 husband, Kim Selody, is at the helm, as director of So, How Should I Be? The play infuses perspective from three generations, courtesy of actors Joel Grinke, Manami Hara and Ilana Zackon.
鈥淚t鈥檚 three characters that come together each with their own story from their own generation,鈥� explains Carson. 鈥淏ecause eating disorders are so different for every single person who gets one 鈥� I wanted to have three completely different situations.鈥�
Through personal and true stories, the actors look for clues that might help someone steer clear of the trap. Hara takes the audience back 30 years ago, when she had a friend who died of an eating disorder, while Zackon portrays a 20-something with an eating disorder in the present day. Meanwhile, Joel Grinke, a.k.a. 鈥淥range Boy,鈥� has a disorder that makes him want to escape.
Carson started the writing process with the premise that kids are already getting unhealthy thoughts planted in their heads.
鈥淎nd at what time does that thought get stuck in your head 鈥� sort of like an earworm?鈥� says Carson.
That鈥檚 when 鈥渢he monster鈥� will chant untruths like: 鈥淵ou鈥檙e really dumb. You really aren鈥檛 very pretty. You really aren鈥檛 this.鈥�
And the monster鈥檚 victims look for an 鈥渆scape,鈥� which is the metaphor used in the play for eating disorders.
At first, Carson wanted to blame the whole eating disorder epidemic on social media and airbrushed advertising, but then realized humans can鈥檛 help but compare themselves to each other; it鈥檚 an innate behaviour.
鈥淪o you can鈥檛 tell children: 鈥楯ust don鈥檛 compare,鈥欌�� she says.
But the feeling of not measuring up is compounded, says Carson, when impressible minds pore over social media and magazine pages featuring carbon copy body shapes.听
鈥淵ou might begin to think that you鈥檙e the only one who doesn鈥檛 look that way,鈥� she explains.
Instead of looking at images, the young audience will use their imagination at Presentation House to see their own ideal of beauty.
Talk-back sessions, moderated by members of the Looking Glass Foundation, are offered after each performance to encourage discussion and reflection.
鈥淭he whole impetus of this is to destigmatize mental disorders and get kids to not be afraid to ask for help if they feel something is taking control of them,鈥� says Carson.
As Carson catches the ferry home to Bowen Island, she is also reflecting.
鈥淚 think because I had to go through the steps of building my own building blocks again, sometimes I think I鈥檓 freer in life than some people who didn鈥檛 have a disorder, and are still overworried about what they look like,鈥� she says.
鈥淚f you do the work, you can feel free.鈥�
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