Starring Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Mila Kunis
Directed by Seth MacFarlane
With the rampant popularity of his Family Guy animated series making him the highest paid writer-producer in television, Seth MacFarlane was assuredly feeling no financial pressure to make the jump to the big screen. Consequently, one can only assume that the rationale for writing and directing his first feature film was that he wanted to stretch himself creatively.
And based on the evidence found here, it seems that MacFarlane expanding his range amounts to adding some swearing to his mixed bag of eager-to-offend gags. Predictably, the laughs-per-minute ratio (by my calculation: one-per-five) remains the same as an average episode of Family Guy, which means that this 105-minute investment of time meets with meagre returns.
After a faux fairy tale prologue tells us of a little boy wishing his teddy bear to life, we then get to see how thats working out 27 years on. Stuck in a go-nowhere job, John (Mark Wahlberg) spends his days downing beers and getting high with his stuffed pal Ted (a CGI creation voiced by MacFarlane). This does little to impress Johns girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis), who pressures him to distance himself from his foul-mouthed, loutish sidekick.
Given that MacFarlanes television shows have always favoured digressions over plot advancement, its unsurprising that the storytelling here takes a backseat to incessant pop culture references and cameos by the likes of Flash Gordons Sam Jones. Disappointingly, when tasked with devising an inspired climax for its arrested development tale, Ted opts for a toothless chase scene instead. It seems that this wannabe subversive flick suffers from the same problem that plagues its horny namesake: it doesnt have any balls. Curtis Woloschuk
