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Rachel Langer had already written thousands of words for episodic television by that morning in February 2017 when she cracked open her computer to write the most personal story she had to tell: that of her long journey with endometriosis.
It wasnāt the first time the Ā鶹“«Ć½Ó³»screenwriter had shared something of herself in her writing ā in an episode of CBCās This Life, she drew upon her own experience with grief to inform how the characters dealt with the loss of their matriarch ā but this would be the first time sheād specifically laid out something so private for public consumption.
Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of the uterus grows outside of it. Those who live with endometriosis often endure unrelenting pain. Working as she did in a segment of the industry where women are vastly underrepresented (in 2016, the Writersā Guild of America put the number of women television screenwriters at 29 per cent), Langer had āalways been terrified to speak outā about her endometriosis, she says during a recent interview on the Drive.
āPeople are always looking for a reason to say, āNo, youāre not the right person to hire,āāā she says.
For years, Langer had worked diligently to bring her A-game to every screenwriting gig, and just as hard to keep her painful condition a secret (āI will be completely frank in saying that I have to work three times as hard to cover it up as most people have to work to get through the dayā). But on that wintry day, after nearly 10 years of keeping a significant part of her life hidden from friends and colleagues, Langer was compelled to speak out.
āI thought, āYou know what? I donāt want to hide this part of who I am because itās accurate and I didnāt do anything wrong,āā she says.
The essay ā entitled ā was subsequently picked up by Medium and Chatelaine. Langer wrote with an intense, searing honesty about the āvelociraptor on fire gnawing through every fibre in my midsection,ā the challenges of navigating a medical system that rarely listens to women, and her fears about disclosing her condition to peers and employers in the film biz.
Upon publication, the publicās response to Langerās essay was immediate, overwhelming and rewarding. āWhat shocked me the most was how many women [came] forward and said, āThank Christ, Iām not alone,āā marvels Langer.
As for the response from within the film industry, āthe women were amazing,ā says Langer. āI got some of the same from men, although guys, theyāre just not as comfortable saying, āYouāre talking about your uterus; good for you!ā And thatās OK... Iāve felt really liberated. Iām not shying away from it.ā
As in her off-screen life, identity and speaking truth to character are hallmarks of Langerās screenwriting.
āI can never not tell an identity story,ā says Langer, whose writing credits include Aeternus, Continuum, Olympus, 2018ās Reboot reboot, and the highly anticipated Ghost Wars, which premieres on SyFy Network on Oct. 5. āItās a pervasive theme in my life, of finding who you are and how thatās not a fixed mark and how thatās going to grow and expand and change.ā
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Langer studied screenwriting at BCIT and graduated from the Canadian Film Centreās primetime TV program in 2014. Sheās written for and alongside many of her mentors, including Dennis Heaton (a multiple Leo Award winner for Motive, now writing on Ghost Wars), Simon Barry (Continuum, Ghost Wars), and the late Denis McGrath, who passed away earlier this year. McGrath was a well-respected Toronto-based TV writer, producer, teacher, and champion for Canadian television; his numerous credits included the Vancouver-shot Continuum, on which Langer worked as a writersā assistant.
From McGrath, Langer learned that āit can always get better, but it can always get worse. Even if you think itās the worst it can possibly be, thereās a way up, thereās a way out, thereās a way through, and never be afraid to be loud about it if you need to.āĢż
In June, Langer took home the 2017 Leo Award for Best Screenwriting in a Dramatic Series for that aforementioned episode of This Life entitled which Langer wrote while her grandfather āwas dying of a stroke in the hospital. There were things in that episode that were directly out of my familyās experience, so winning a Leo Award for that episode was intensely validating.ā
Also validating: Langerās time in the Ghost Warsā writersā room. The Ā鶹“«Ć½Ó³»shot series was created by Barry and is set in a remote Alaskan town that has been overrun by paranormal forces. It stars Avan Jogia, Kim Coates, Kandyse McClure, Vincent DāOnofrio, Meat Loaf, Maddie Phillips, and Sharon C. Taylor.
The sci-fi horror series is very different from the family drama that was This Life, and Langer is happy to move back and forth between genres. āItās all about putting a character in a place and a setting, and if itās sci-fi, thatās great, and if itās quiet, emotional, family stuff, thatās great,ā says Langer. āItās freeing to feel that way. I can go anywhere as long as the characters come with me.ā
Ghost Wars premieres on SyFy on October 5 and in Canada in 2018. Reel People will have more from our recent Ghost Wars set visit closer to the seriesā Canadian premiere. Ģż
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More from Rachel Langer
On her earliest beginnings as a storyteller: āMy parents always tell me I started talking before I was walking. The first story I really remember is, we had to do a one-page story in elementary school, and I did a comedy parody of Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. I was 8. My aunt, who was a lit prof at Trinity Western, used it in her class until she retired. I didnāt understand why, but she said, āYouāve got the parody perfect!ā I was like, āCool, whatās parody?ā I told it from the Wolfās perspective and made him out to be a guy who was just trying to use his instincts in nature and couldnāt understand why he was a villain. I was always looking for the underdog even then.ā
On advice sheād give to a younger version of herself just starting out in her career: āThere are three key things. One is perfection doesnāt exist so donāt wait until itās perfect to put it out there ā but put out the best version you can. Thereās a happy balance. Itāll never be the thing that you thought it was going to be, but you have to do enough work to not put out a first draft. The second is to just make stuff. When Derek [Langer, Rachelās husband] and I finished film school, we were just inundated with school debts and student loans and just scraping by, and so we thought we should do corporate videos because we thought it would make us some money, but what we should have done is just make films. Weāre doing that now. We just shot three short films in the past year. We bought all of our own gear and now weāre just making stuff. We donāt care if it sells. We donāt care if it just screens a couple of times and thatās it. Weāve just got to make stuff. The third thing is that living in the fear is the sweet spot. I just started writing my first feature film that Derek is going to direct, and Iām terrified, and I have no idea what Iām doing, and itās great. That fear is driving me to just get through, and if it sucks, it sucks.ā
On early lessons she learned from television showrunners: āI learned about how much work it actually took. I donāt think I was aware of the immense job that it is to create and run a TV series. I think thatās a defining thing to learn, and I think you either get scared, or you get inspired, and I walked away going, āI have to do that.āā
