HOTEL BETHLEHEM
You'll giggle the bah, humbugs right out of your system in this scandalously irreverent Christmas play by Drew McCreadie. He turns "Silent Night" into "Rowdy Night." He transforms "We Three Kings" into "We Two Kings and One Queen." And if you "Fall/On your knees," it'll be because you laughed so hard you tumbled right out of your seat.
In McCreadie's version of the Nativity, Joseph (Kris Novak) is on his way to Bethlehem with Mary, but there's no room at the inn and the manger has been taken up by a couple of shepherds, Sam (Scott Bellis) and Ezekial (Alex Diakun), for a silent water birthing of a ewe. Yep. There's much rumination between these wispy-bearded old codgers about why they're called "shepherds" and not "sheep herders." (Brevity over clarity.) And they muse on the sheep lottery that's up to 10,000 sheep. "Can you imagine?" "What would you do with 10,000 sheep?" Oy vey.
Everything is up for mockery including virgins real and imagined. "You just have to take it on faith," one of the soldiers says to the other when Joseph maintains his obviously pregnant wife is a virgin. Half-blind mathematician/census-taker Addius Miopicus (Bernard Cuffling) is neatly skewered as are Roman soldiers, the dim-witted Hepion (Sean McQuillan) and small but sparky Lewdious (Byron Noble). The Three Wise Men are three ninnies: kingpin King Melchior (Dustin Freeland), sleepwalking King Balthazar (Noah Rosenbaum) and fey King Caspar (Stephen Beaver). Attempting to avoid taxation, they pretend they're just visiting the city of David to put on a children's show. The gold, frankincense and myrrh go missing, the lamb is born ("It's a girl!") and the Lamb of God is also born ("It's a boy!")
At the centre of all this mayhem are the innkeeper Joshua (John Murphy) and his sexpot chambermaid Mary (Jennifer Mawhinney). Murphy amazingly keeps all the balls in the air with doors opening, doors closing, mistaken identities and characters rushing in and rushing out. It's a workout.
Mawhinney (whose 2009 performance in Blackbird I will never forget) matches the energy and quick-quipping Murphy. My favourite retort of Mary's might be, when told to read something, "Read? I'm a woman. I can't read." Well, duh; it's Jerusalem, 2,000 years ago. The year is 0. Who can read?
David Roberts' set is an arching mud brick Middle Eastern inn exterior with about eight doors; Jonathan Ryder bathes it all in warm, glowy light. And Drew Facey puts everyone-except the centurions-in robes that range from unbleached cotton to exotic silk and brocades. The soldiers are resplendent in pleated maroon silk, black leather vests and what appear to be upside-down janitor brooms on their helmets.
Riding herd on all these crazy characters is director Diane Brown, co-founder and artistic director of Ruby Slippers Theatre. With all this talent racing around off-leash, it must have been a challenge to keep it all from exploding. She keeps it moving at breakneck speed.
But here's the funny thing: good acting still wins the day. Bellis, best known for doing Shakespeare down at Bard on the Beach, keeps such a poker face, has such impeccable timing and uses such actorly skill, that even in a couple of small roles, he's a standout. He and Diakun-another pro-are the quiet, contemplative centre of all the zaniness. At the end, McCreadie takes us back to Sam and Ezekial pondering the imponderable: is life all a dream? Are we the dreamers or the dreamed? And if it's all a dream, what happens when it ends? Like Sam and Ezekial, upon being visited by the angel, should we be, "like, sore afraid?"
At the Shadbolt Centre until Dec. 18 Tickets: 604.205.3000
www.shadboltcentre.com
