Fran Lebowitz opens the Cap U Speaker Series at The BlueShore on Sept. 27 and 28 at 8 p.m. For more information and to reserve tickets visit .
Conversationally, Fran Lebowitz is the roller skate at the top of the staircase. Just the smallest nudge and she whirls off to inflict more harm than could have possibly been expected.
After reaching Lebowitz by landline (she has no cellphone and does not 鈥減ossess鈥� the internet), I ask if her parents were great conversationalists.
鈥淣辞.鈥�
That 鈥渘o鈥� is so dead and frozen it might be on a meat hook. But then she laughs and begins.
鈥淚 did not grow up in an environment of witty repartee. I grew up in a very typical middle class 鈥� what middle class meant in the 鈥�50s, by the way, which is not what people mean now. Now they mean what we used to think of as rich 鈥� and truthfully, children were not encouraged to talk that much,鈥� she says.
In her 1981 book Social Studies, Lebowitz advises: 鈥淒o not elicit your child鈥檚 political opinions. He doesn鈥檛 know any more than you do.鈥�
It鈥檚 an edict Lebowitz鈥檚 parents abided by.
鈥淭he most frequent thing I ever heard from my parents is: 鈥榊ou鈥檙e just a child. . . .鈥� So one thing that they never wanted to hear was what I thought of anything.鈥�
Dinner was 鈥渙ne instruction after another鈥� interspersed with tidbits about the state of her father鈥檚 upholstery shop and the price of food.
鈥淚t drove me out of my mind, even when I was a child,鈥� she says. 鈥淐onversation the way that you are meaning I was really unaware of.鈥�
She didn鈥檛 truly become aware of the possibilities of conversation until seeing author James Baldwin.
鈥淚 was riveted by him,鈥� she says, recalling her discovery of the If Beale Street Could Talk author on television.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the kind of television there used to be,鈥� she says. 鈥淚f there was someone like James Baldwin now he would never be on television. 鈥楾oo smart, sorry, you can鈥檛 come on.鈥欌��
But listening to Baldwin hold court on writing and systemic racism was captivating.
鈥淚 never heard anyone talk like that,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hat was my first idea that there was such a thing as an intellectual.鈥�
There鈥檚 been a renewed interest in public intellectuals and political lecturers recently, Lebowitz says.
鈥淭he internet causes people who are young to take note of you,鈥� she says. 鈥淎lso, there鈥檚 more interest in this kind of thing than there used to be. Part of this is because of Donald Trump.鈥�
Like a compass needle pivoting to true north the conversation swings to the President of the United States.
鈥淚nescapable,鈥� she says of Trump as a conversation topic. 鈥淎nd I don鈥檛 mean just here. I was in Australia this year. You cannot be farther away from anywhere, after Australia is Saturn.鈥�
But 90 per cent of the questions Lebowitz fields 鈥� whether she鈥檚 in Australia, Spain, or Canada 鈥� are about Trump. Of course, they鈥檙e not all questions, Lebowitz notes. Sometimes they鈥檙e accusations.
鈥淚t is not my fault,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 refuse to take the blame for Donald Trump. Whatever one person can do 鈥� who鈥檚 for instance not a Russian 鈥� to have kept him from winning, I did.鈥�
The global interest, Lebowitz maintains, is understandable because the president is 鈥済lobally horrifying.鈥�
Lebowitz, who once suggested she act as de facto director of admissions for the City of New York, takes a certain pride that her city overwhelmingly supported Hillary Clinton.
鈥淓ven the Upper East Side,鈥� she crows.
鈥淚 knew he was stupid, I鈥檓 from New York,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think people understand how stupid he is. This is like . . .鈥�
Like a super-computer overwhelmed by a problem it was never programmed to solve, Lebowitz can鈥檛 quite finish the thought, trailing off into a soft gagging sound.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not that I didn鈥檛 know that there were a lot of stupid people in the United States,鈥� she explains. 鈥淚 just didn鈥檛 know there were this many and that they were that stupid.鈥�
Watch his campaign rallies, Lebowitz advises, and you can understand the psychology of his supporters.
鈥淚t is obviously so pleasurable for them to be able to express their racism that they don鈥檛 care what happens to them in their own lives,鈥� she says. 鈥淭heir lives are not being bettered. The only people who profited from Trump鈥檚 presidency are extremely rich people, that鈥檚 who profited from his presidency and 鈥榩rofit鈥� is the word.鈥�
Lebowitz鈥檚 appearance at Capilano University is set to be divided between a 30-minute interview and about an hour of audience questions.
鈥淚 love doing this,鈥� she says. 鈥淎nswering questions is something I love to do because no one ever let me do this when I was a child.鈥�
Lebowitz once wrote: 鈥淪pilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.鈥� But for 40 years Lebowitz has spilled her guts on the subject of politics as charmingly as possible in the hopes people will finally and truly listen.
鈥淣o one ever listened to me. No one ever listens to me now, by which I mean they listen to me 鈥� in the sense that they鈥檙e interested or amused by me 鈥� but they don鈥檛 do what I say.鈥�
