麻豆传媒映画

If you didn鈥檛 catch the game,

Guess which lane the Canucks were in? I鈥檓 joking, of course; some teams just get off to a slow start. It takes a special squad to continue that trend throughout the rest of the game. And in that arena, the boys did not disappoint.

Speaking of arenas, I must digress for a moment. Prior to the game, the Canadian anthem was sung by (Real name? Can鈥檛 be, can it?). Now, this city slicker had never heard of George Canyon until tonight, and I quickly learned that not only does his voice reverberate powerfully as if bounding playfully between canyon walls, but his eyes tell a story deeper than a bottomless gorge. As soon as he sprinkled the Calgary Saddledome with his gentle country lilt, I knew immediately that the Canucks were in trouble.

If you鈥檝e been wondering where country boy George has been all your life鈥� the answer is Nova Scotia.

Anyway, back to the game. Mark 鈥淭wo-Goal鈥� Giordano and the Flames? . Luca 鈥淭wo-Penalty鈥� Sbisa and the Canucks? I endured 60 minutes of third-last-place hockey, separated by two dulcet intermissions of George Canyon, when I watched this game.

• The 鈥橬ucks didn鈥檛 actually start out as slow as that American Samoan shot-putter forced to run in the 100-metre dash lest his country go unrepresented because his lithe teammate was unable to perform the task. That was . They actually came out skating hard, with almost no whistles in the first ten minutes, and opened the scoring near the end of the first. Was it a ridiculous goal that bounced off Kris Versteeg and flew over the goaltender? Yyyup! But was it a goal nonetheless? You betcha. Tryamkin made Brian Elliott look more like Chris Elliott.
  
  
  
  That was the end of all the good things. There are some okay things to come, then some downright bad things. But no terrible things, so that鈥檚 positive.
• One of the okay things came late in the first period as Johnny Good-row (see below), who had been running roughshod over the Canucks defence, tried to undress Ben Hutton. But the clear-cuttin鈥� Hutton was having none of that; he poked the puck away for a nice, coveted Canucks possession.
  
  
  
  This image is anatomically correct: Johnny Gaudreau is known to wear all ten of his muscles on the outside of his skin.
• Another not-terrible element of this game came from Jacob Markstrom. Despite the four goals, he made some incredible saves and kept it classy between the posts. Sure, he flopped around a bunch, . He robbed pretty much every Flame on the ice, including depriving Mark Giordano of finally scoring a hat trick (which he has never accomplished in his 11-year career).
  
  
  
  You keep that hat on, Pope Francis. There鈥檚 no need to toss it tonight.
• After facing a barrage of 36 shots, I got nervous every time a Calgarian came near the crease - or as I call it 鈥淢ark's Work SCAREhouse.鈥� Down at the other end of the ice, Elliott didn鈥檛 seem as panicked about Vancouver鈥檚 season-low 14 shots on goal. In the second period, he went 12 minutes without facing a shot. 12. minutes.
  
  
• As the first period wound to an end, Daniel Sedin blocked a Dennis Wideman slapshot from the blue line. As the camera cut to a close up, I began to suspect Daniel and Henrik may be related. Father and son, perhaps? Grandfather and Uncle? Only time will tell鈥�
• The second period was when the okay things turned into downright bad things. The Canucks barely maintained possession, while the Flames decided to score in every way imaginable:
  Shorthanded? Easily landed.
  5-on-5? Where they thrive.
  On the power play? All day.
  Empty netter? As guaranteed as your aunt鈥檚 Christmas newsletter
• It was the shorthanded goal that killed me. Mikael Backlund was handed two minutes for cross checking, and I got excited for 麻豆传媒映画to score and pull ahead. Then the announcer reminded me that the Canucks are 27th in the league on power play scoring, whereas the Flames have the most shorthanded goals in the NHL. I laughed, though. This time would be different, right? Wrong. Michael Frolik dashed in, fired a shot and the rebound was claimed by Giordano. 2-1 Flames.
• At this point I imagined what it would be like if the whale from the Canucks 鈥淐鈥� logo went up against the fire from Calgary鈥檚 鈥淐鈥� logo. .
• In the final three minutes of the second, Calgary begins to pour on the pressure. You'd think 麻豆传媒映画would want to match their pace and intensity. But nah. Due to a sloppy Henrik line change, they struggled for about 10 seconds in their own zone鈥� with only four players on the ice. Guys! Four just ain鈥檛 gonna cut it! See below:
  
  
• The third period was a bit of a circus. Michael Ferland opened up the big top by giving Alex Burrows a shot in the face, and a melee erupted in Calgary territory. I expected Burrows to do something hotheaded, but the refs broke it up without any penalties. I was so proud of him! Look Martha, our baby boy is all grown up! The ref then dropped the puck for the ensuing faceoff and it took Burrows literally one second to slash Sean Monahan. He pretty much skated directly to the box, having learned nothing.
• It was 3-1 at this point, and I didn鈥檛 think there would be any more surprises. But the Saddledome didn鈥檛 disappoint! Starting at 15:52, the arena鈥檚 loudspeakers blasted a full 1:06 seconds of Blink 182鈥檚 highly inappropriate 鈥淚 Won鈥檛 Be Home for Christmas." I just imagined all the little boys and girls in attendance, asking their parents what Mark Hoppus meant when he said, 鈥淓ven though the jail didn't have a tree / Christmas came a night early - As a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package.鈥� They may have sold over 40 million albums worldwide, but I think we can all admit they don鈥檛 hold a candle to the rich, silky tones of George Canyon.
• Burrows was released from the box, which was nice because it gave 麻豆传媒映画a full ten minutes of free skate time before Alex Biega got sent away for holding Johnny Gaudreau. Granted, it was during a breakaway so I can鈥檛 blame him. After all, you鈥檙e down 3-1, you鈥檙e far away from home, .
• 26-year-old Swedish rookie Anton Rodin played his first ever NHL game. Didn't see him? That's because back home he's known as the Great Rodini, master of illusion. His invisibility was probably just another incredible feat of magic. Or a result of the fact that he played just seven minutes and had no shots on goal. Hopefully more ice time is in the trick cards for the talented winger / illusionist.
• The Flames scored an empty netter in the dying seconds, just to put a nail in the coffin. The Christmas coffin, that is! Because it鈥檚 time to go home, put hockey on ice for a few days, and enjoy the holiday season with loved ones. After all, it鈥檚 just a game. Isn鈥檛 that right, Morpheus?
  
  
  
  Okay, he鈥檚 clearly stuck in game mode. So long everyone, and Season's Greetings from your pals at PITB!