This game started on a high note, as the Washington Capitals put together a in honour of Alex Ovechkin’s 500th career goal, compiling congratulations from other members of the 500-goal club, including former Capitals Peter Bondra and Mike Gartner, who got loud cheers from the Washington crowd.
It was especially neat to see Ovechkin’s fellow Russians, Sergei Federov and Pavel Bure. Federov was also briefly a member of the Capitals, while Pavel Bure was the lone player in the video who fell short of 500 goals, but it’s hard to dispute his credentials as one of the greatest goalscorers in NHL history, so it must have been incredibly meaningful for Ovechkin to hear from him and other NHL greats.
Eschewing the typical highlight reel was a great choice and I really appreciated it. And then I watched this game.
- The Capitals are the best team in the NHL. The Canucks are one of the worst. There’s a good chance that no matter what the Canucks did, the Capitals were going to easily win this game. The Capitals are the Sarlacc and the Canucks aren’t even Boba Fett—they’re one of the skiff guards who only got a name when they were made into a toy. Like, or something.
- I point out just how out-classed the Canucks were just to head off any claims that I’m blaming this loss on one player or one decision. But trying to beat the Capitals with Derek Dorsett on the first line with the Sedins is like trying to fight Ronda Rousey with both hands tied behind your back.
- Now I’m imagining a UFC fighter who named her fists Daniel and Henrik. I desperately want this to happen.
- The Canucks have one primary offensive weapon: the Sedins. Yes, Bo Horvat and Sven Baertschi came into this game with point streaks (and Horvat left with his intact), but the Sedins have carried this team offensively, proving that they’re still two of the best players in the NHL. Willie Desjardins decided that the best possible player to put on their wing was the guy who’s scored more than 4 goals in a season just twice in his entire career.
- Heck, I can live with Dorsett on the top line to start the game—the Sedins have spent their careers elevating third-line grinders into first-line forwards, so why not see if they can do the same with a fourth-line grinder?—but there was no reason to keep him there for the entire game, particularly when the Canucks went down by three goals early in the third period. You can only elevate a player so much: if the Sedins are in the penthouse, Dorsett doesn’t have the key to the private elevator.
- This is nothing against Dorsett. At all. When your head coach says, “Hey, do you want to play with two of the greatest playmakers of this generation?” you say yes.
- Dorsett didn’t even have that bad a game. It’s awfully hard to have a bad game with the Sedins. But the Sedins didn’t really have a good game, either. While they didn’t allow much defensively, they didn’t create anything offensively until they got on the power play. Dorsett made the Sedins less wizardous. Ironically, the non-redhead was the Ron Weasley of the group.
- You know who did have a bad game? Matt Bartkowski. Oh lordy, what a bad game. He was on the ice for all four of Washington’s goals and it wasn’t just bad luck. At even-strength, the Capitals had 20 shots when Bartkowski was on the ice. 20 shots! The Canucks have had four entire games this season where they didn’t get 20 shots. .
- Alex Edler visibly struggled tonight as well, as he and Chris Tanev were unable to contain Alex Ovechkin and the Capitals’ top line, even if they managed to keep them off the scoresheet. Edler’s worst moment came on the Capitals’ first goal, as he came out of the penalty box, got the puck, then immediately lost it at the Capitals’ blue line leading directly to a 2-on-1 the other way. Basically, Edler had one of those games that his detractors think defines his entire career.
- Keeping Ovechkin off the scoresheet had a lot more to do with Ryan Miller than anyone on the Canucks’ defence. He was far better in his return to the Canucks’ net than the scoreline would suggest. He faced 39 shots and stopped 36 of them and that’s about all you can hope for in a game where the Canucks’ defence was about as useful as an inflatable bowling ball.
- At least the Canucks didn’t get shut out and they have Alex Burrows to thank. The winger, who played with Linden Vey and Emerson Etem while Dorsett skated with the Sedins, drew back-to-back penalties to give the Canucks a 5-on-3 power play. Then Burrows got hurt on what should have been another penalty, as Nicklas Backstrom cross-checked him in the back while Karl Alzner punched him in the face. But it was Burrows’ fault for having such a punchable face and cross-checkable back.
- Burrows went straight to the dressing room and Bo Horvat replaced him on the power play, picking up an assist on when he tipped Henrik’s centring pass on net and Radim Vrbata swept in the rebound with the same grim efficiency he uses to wipe smiles off his face.
- The BaeBoBata line has been outstanding for the last couple weeks, but they got badly outplayed, primarily by the Capitals’ second line. To be fair, their second line is centred by Evgeni Kuznetsov, who has more points than the Sedins. Sarlacc, meet skiff guard. Enjoy being digested for the next thousand years.
- Willie Desjardins got my hopes up in the third period that he had made a sane decision when Jake Virtanen came over the boards with Bo Horvat and Sven Baertschi, taking Radim Vrbata’s spot. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that Vrbata would be joining the top line to try to come back from the 3-1 deficit. Instead, he jumped over the boards with Brandon Prust and Adam Cracknell, because Desjardins is literally trying to drive me insane.
