Welcome to Hockey Diaries, where Pass it to Bulis columnist Chris Nash breaks into the multi-million-dollar Yaletown homes of various Canucks, and pilfers an entertaining selection of their innermost thoughts.
These are the diaries of Wilbrod "Willie" Desjardins.
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The Lost (and Last) Adventures of Li鈥檒 Willie DJ
Hi everyone!
I鈥檓 Li鈥檒 Willie DJ, and I go to school in Vancouver! This year my class has been learning all about patterns.
We have a big box full of blocks, and every week Teacher Linda chooses a different student to come to the front and share the pattern they like best. The idea is to use all the blocks and put them into lines on the table.
Last week, one boy opened the box and separated all the blocks by size. He put the big ones together, and the medium ones together, and the small ones together, into three lines. When Teacher Linda asked him why he did that, he said, 鈥淚 like when all the sizes are together. I think they like to play with each other because they鈥檙e the same size.鈥� Teacher Linda gave him a good grade because he made a good choice.
Another time, one girl came up to the front and mixed up all the blocks completely. What a mess! There were big blue triangles with small green squares. I didn鈥檛 know what to think! Teacher Linda asked what the pattern was and the girl said, 鈥淭he pattern is that there is no pattern. I put them all together because they all think differently.鈥� Teacher Linda seemed real proud of her and gave her a good grade too.
Today it was finally my turn! I had been thinking about the blocks all year long, and I had a real good plan. Real good. I marched up to the front of the room ready to wow everyone.
But when I got up there, it was really tough! The table was so high and the box was so big. I was super-confused. I wanted to go back to my chair, but everyone was looking at me. 鈥淲henever you鈥檙e ready, Li鈥檒 Willie鈥� Teacher Linda said to me. So I scratched my head and got to work.
I dumped all the blocks on the table and began moving them around. I just knew that if I thought real hard, I could make the perfect combinations. After a few minutes of shuffling, I stepped back to look at my work. 鈥淎re you sure you want to do that, Li鈥檒 Willie?鈥� Teacher Linda asked. 鈥淣o!鈥� I shouted, 鈥淚鈥檓 not done!鈥� I started sweating real bad, and I changed everything up.
It felt like forever, but I finally made it perfect. I was so proud. I got the whole class to gather around it so they would be jealous when Teacher Linda gave me my good grade.
鈥淟i鈥檒 Willie,鈥� she began slowly, 鈥淚鈥檓 confused. I see here you鈥檝e put two red stars with a Jenga. Why did you do that?鈥�
鈥淭he stars like to play together.鈥�
鈥淎nd the Jenga?鈥�
鈥淚 like Jenga.鈥�
鈥淟i鈥檒 Willie, the Jenga shouldn鈥檛 be here, and I think you know that. Now go put it back on the fourth shelf, where it belongs.鈥�
While I was taking the Jenga back to bottom shelf, I could hear the other kids talking. 鈥淗e put a yellow square with a button and a marble,鈥� one kid said. 鈥淲here is he even getting these pieces?鈥� another kid wondered aloud.
I felt real bad about the job I鈥檇 done, and suddenly I was scared of the grade Teacher Linda would give me. But she didn鈥檛 end up giving me a grade at all! She sent the other kids back to their chairs and took me into the hallway. She knelt down and looked me right in the eye, real serious.
鈥淚 need you to understand something, Li鈥檒 Willie,鈥� she said, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e a great person, you鈥檝e got great character, and you worked super hard. You came to school every day focused on winning. But I just need to make a change.鈥�
鈥淒id I fail the assignment?鈥� I asked.
鈥淚鈥檓 afraid it鈥檚 worse than that,鈥� she replied, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not allowed to come to school anymore.鈥�
鈥淚鈥檓 not allowed to come to school?? You mean, just this school, right? Can I still go to another school?鈥�
鈥淚 don鈥檛 know, Li鈥檒 Willie. I just don鈥檛 know.鈥� And with that, she turned around and walked back toward the classroom.
鈥淭eacher Linda,鈥� I called to her, 鈥淲as I really that bad?鈥�
鈥淟i鈥檒 Willie, I have 30 students and you came in 29th.鈥�
She went into the classroom and shut the door behind her. I started the long walk down the hallway, toward home. 29th out of 30. Sheesh. I pushed the big heavy doors open and walked out into the rain. I should've been cold, but I wasn鈥檛. 'Cause I remember thinking to myself, at least someone else was worse. And that鈥檚 pretty good stuff. Pretty real good stuff.
