A lot happened in Canuckland this past year. Most of it was really bad, but some of it was okay, possibly even good. But all of it definitely happened.
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āMember when Denis Potvin called Daniel Sedin a lowlife? āMember when Jake Virtanan hung out with Bieber? āMember Beth Bartkowski?
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All that and more in part one of the overly exhaustive, entirely too thorough Canucks year in review.
JANUARY
January 2 - With a 6-5 loss to the eventual gold medalist Finns, from the 2016 World Junior Championships in the quarterfinals, ending a 17-year streak of making the semifinals. The first half of the game is the best he plays in the tournament, but in the second half, Virtanen takes three undisciplined and ill-timed penalties.
January 2 - , winning the hardest shot and the fastest skater competitions, though the latter wasnāt without controversy.
January 4 - in a loss to the Arizona Coyotes. Itās the start of a six-game scoring streak. He scores 7 goals and 12 points in 12 games in January and leads the Canucks in scoring in 2016 with 24 goals and 55 points in 82 games.
January 4 - In the same game, Daniel Sedin loses four teeth after . His mouth was but he returned to the game, because of course he did.
January 8 - Jim Benning sends the 29th overall pick in the 2011 draft, Nicklas Jensen, to the Rangers for . I get complete my Benning trade bingo card: trading away a younger Mike Gillis pick for an older former Medicine Hat Tiger and adding a pick to the deal.
January 10 - , which is a super-weird thing to do. With no takers, the Canucks eventually just waive him. He clears waivers, plays in Utica for a while, then gets called back up to the Canucks to end the season, then gets bought out. What a .
January 11 - After against the Florida Panthers, Daniel Sedin gave the Panthers bench (and Shawn Thornton in particular) an epic staredown. That led to a and Denis Potvin and weirdly saying that the Sedins use their fingers to ā,ā which doesnāt make a lick of sense biologically, gastronomically, or insultologically.
January 13 - In a , Denis Potvin apologizes for his comments, saying that his words ācame out wrong.ā What he meant to say was that the Sedins use their fingers to lick their off of their bread.
January 14 - Willie Desjardins starts . When the Canucks need a goal in the third period, Desjardins takes Radim Vrbata off the Horvat line, not to reunite him with the Sedins, but to put him with Brandon Prust and Adam Cracknell. My sanity shatters into a million pieces.
January 17 - Henrik Sedin is knocked out of a game against the New York Islanders by a by Mikael Grabovski. Henrik misses four games with the injury. Grabovski misses none because the Department of Player Safety decides the game misconduct he received was basically the same thing as a suspension.
January 18 - The Canucks release this video of Alex Burrows meeting his biggest fan. It is delightful.
January 19 - Jake Virtanen was going to play against the Rangers on the 19th, then suddenly he was scratched, and former Ranger Brandon Prust was put into the lineup. This ignited a .
January 19 - The Canucks give up 49 shots against the Rangers, the fourth straight game allowing 40+ shots. They win two of those games and pick up a point against the Rangers with an overtime loss. Later in the month they lose to the Nashville Predators while giving up just 19 shots because hockey doesnāt make any sense.
January 21 - with the game winner over the Boston Bruins. Itās a great moment for a wonderful lowlife.
January 21 - During the game against the Bruins, Chris Tanev gets checked from behind into the boards. Because itās Boston, the boards cruelly mock him while he lies injured on the ice.
January 22 - With the win over the Bruins, The Canucks have points in eight of their first ten games of 2016, putting them in playoff position. In fact, theyāre the only Canadian team in a playoff position, leading Harrison to ask if . They promptly lose eight of their next ten games.
January 31 - While team captain John Scott was the story of All-Star weekend and won the MVP award, for the Pacific Division.
FEBRUARY
February 1 - The Canucks , which conveniently is the length of contract needed for him to fulfill one of the requirements for the expansion draft.
February 2 - The Brandon Prust era comes to a close, as . He scores 7 points in 9 games with the Utica Comets before he ends his season to focus on rehabbing an .
February 6 - Dan Hamhuis returns to the lineup after having surgery to repair his broken jaw suffered in December. . Between Daniel losing teeth, Hamhuis getting his jaw broken, and Brandon Sutter later breaking his jaw, it was a bad season for pucks in the face.
February 8 - Thatcher Demko , passing Cory Schneider.
February 9 - The annual kicks off with a win over the Colorado Avalanche. Not wanting to disappoint their mothers, the Canucks win every game on the momās road trip. Unfortunately, itās just two games long.
February 9 - Or maybe the moms are bad luck, as during the game.
February 10 - The highlight of the win over the Avalanche is actually the moms themselves, particularly Beth Bartkowski, who turned into a minor celebrity with her exclamations in an interview with Dan Murphy during the game and later in a . She almost makes a full season of her son on the Canucks worth it. .
February 11 - There are . Canucks nation collectively freaks out about the possibility. It definitely doesnāt happen.
February 13 - The skate logo returns on retro jersey night, but the Canucks sully the logoās good name with a against the terrible Maple Leafs. Thomas Drance called it their ā.ā Thereās just one solution: .
February 19 - The Canucks , which has never happened before in NHL history and will never happen again. This embarrassing losing streak comes immediately after Jim Benning suggests the Canucks will make a playoff push and insinuates theyāll be buyers at the trade deadline.
February 22 - Surprising everyone, the Canucks , Hunter Shinkaruk, to the Calgary Flames for Markus Granlund. Jim Benning is ripped for the trade at the time, though early returns look good for the Canucks, as Granlund has established himself in the Canucks lineup while Shinkaruk is back in the AHL with the Stockton Heat, who are led in scoring by none other than Linden Vey.
February 24 - At the annual Dice and Ice event, the Canucks rookies were put through a lip sync battle. Ben Hutton thereby making the entire miserable season worth it.
February 24 - The Canucks from the Edmonton Oilers, as he is in the midst of a great season in the KHL. Meanwhile, , none of whom are likely to garner much in the way of offers. Shockingly, nobody wants the contents of the Canucks junk drawer.
February 25 - in a game that has a series of unlikely events: Matt Bartkowski and Emerson Etem both score two goals, Chris Tanev takes a minor penalty, and Jake Virtanen scores a power play goal.
February 26 - Daniel (Wagner, not Sedin) outlines . You wonāt believe how accurate number six was!
February 29 - Incredibly, without a single move from the Canucks. Benning , nor for any their other players on the block. They to make them eligible for the AHL playoffs. Itās almost as if Benning forgot it was a leap year and was waiting for March 1st.
MARCH
March 2 - Several Canucks are named to their respective teams for the World Cup of Hockey and .
March 3 - The best āpump-upā video of the year is released: this :
March 4 - Trevor Linden and Jim Benning are in damage control mode at the for season ticket holders, attempting to explain why they couldnāt get a deal done at the trade deadline and justify their approach to rebuilding the franchise. The entire night feels like an exercise in doublespeak, particularly when Linden claims they knew the Canucks werenāt a playoff team heading into the season, despite numerous times they said the exact opposite.
March 7 - A week after the NHL trade deadline, the Canucks finally make a move, sending Dane Fox to the Carolina Hurricanes for future considerations. Seemingly unrelated (but probably totally related), the Hurricanes in exchange for Blair Jones being loaned to the Charlotte Checkers.
March 8 - The Canucks .
March 11 - after his concert in Ā鶹“«Ć½Ó³»and posts some pictures of the meetup to Instagram. Since itās the night before a game, some people suggest this irresponsible behaviour and becomes a go-to reference for anyone wanting to complain about Virtanenās immaturity. Not long after, .
March 16 - Nikita Tryamkin and he also records his first point, an assist on the Canucksā lone goal. Bam! !
March 17 - Thatcher Demko is .
March 19 - The Canucks at their game against the St. Louis Blues, introducing many of them to hockey for the first time. They then proceed to give up 50 shots for just the 9th time in franchise history.
March 19 - The ugly loss leads Daniel Sedin to . Some people take the comments as Daniel wanting out of Vancouver, which is a dumb take. So dumb.
March 22 - As had been rumoured all season, the Canucks for a second stint in North America. Rodin spends the off-season rehabbing a knee injury and has played just one game for the Canucks so far.
March 24 - With his opening goal against the Nashville Predators, Bo Horvat breaks the Canucksā franchise-record goalless drought at 234:52. The Canucks were shutout for three straight games.
March 27 - A seemingly meaningless loss to the Chicago Blackhawks actually has devastating consequences: It suddenly becomes essential that they stop tanking and win at least one more game before the end of the season.
March 28 - Dan Hamhuis is after battling back from his brutal broken jaw.
March 29 - Jake Virtanen , earning himself a game misconduct and a two-game suspension. If it seems a little harsh considering there was no injury on the play and similarly-late hits like the one that just forced Jannik Hansen to miss 4-6 weeks earned no suspension, youāre not wrong. But itās also the type of hit that we want to get out of the game, so makes sense.
March 31 - For the first time in his career, . More importantly, the Canucks pass the crap mantle off to the San Jose Sharks.
APRIL
April 1 - Emerson Etem scores a goal against his former team, the Anaheim Ducks, starting a five-game point streak to finish the season, scoring four goals.
April 4 - 79 games in, the Canucks of the season. Like , it couldnāt come at a worse time, taking a bite out of their odds of winning the first overall pick.
April 6 - The Canucks are in Edmonton for , which is apparently a really big deal, because the Oilers go completely over-the-top with both the pomp and the circumstance.
April 7 - Nikita Tryamkin in a game against the Calgary Flames. His shot deflects in off Hunter Shinkarukās stick, which means itās also Shinkarukās first goal for the Canucks! The future is bright, Canucks fans!
April 10 - The 2015-16 season finally, mercifully . But the final game of the season goes to overtime and then a long shootout, just to prolong the agony.
April 11 - With the season over, about the frustration of finding out your team doesnāt think as highly of you as they once did. Meanwhile, Trevor Linden , despite the captain saying he was 100% healthy to end the season.
April 13 - The Canucks immediately after Daniel . Signing the is the best thing the Canucks have ever done.
April 20 - Thatcher Demko , easing fears that he might return to college and use the āGet Out of Ā鶹“«Ć½Ó³»Freeā loophole in the CBA. The signing comes one day after .
April 26 - The Canucks to a completely reasonable two-year contract.
April 29 - Michael Garteig . Like Troy Stecher, Michael Garteig was a member of the record-breaking 2011-12 Penticton Vees and an invite to the Canucksā 2014 prospect development camp.
April 30 - The Canucks , falling to the fifth overall pick, because . But itās okay, because .
MAY
May 6 - The World Championship kicks off in Russia, with : Chris Tanev, Ben Hutton, Jacob Markstrom, Jannik Hansen, and Yannick Weber. Markus Granlund gets just prior to the start of the tournament when other, better players become available. Such as his own brother.
May 7 - Brock Boeser , further confirming that he is the best ever.
May 13 - As Nick Bonino plays a major role in the Pittsburgh Penguinsā march to the Stanley Cup, : āHolding Out For Bonino.ā The hook of āI need Boninoā goes viral on Pittsburgh radio and social media.
May 16 - The Canucks ! Huge deal!
May 22 - Chris Tanev and Ben Hutton as Canada beats Finland 2-0 in the final. Tanev was one of Canadaās best players and was a leader as the oldest player on the blue line for Canada and barely left the ice as Canada defended their lead, while Hutton spent most of his time on the bench or in the press box as the seventh or eighth defenceman. Thatcher Demko takes home bronze despite never playing.
May 25 - , along with 2nd and 4th round picks, for Erik Gudbranson and a 5th round pick. The analytics crowd hates the move, as McCann has top-six potential and Gudbransonās possession numbers are ugly as sin, but when you , well, they are , but give some reason for hope.
May 27 - Luca Sbisa is and nope, still donāt care.
May 30 - Canuck great and blog namesake , citing wanting to spend more time with his family. Harrison and Daniel go into a time of mourning.
May 31 - In the annual tradition of excoriating a player after he has been traded, Andrey Pedan says he , saying he acted like a ālonely star.ā Makes sense that they had to get rid of McCann, because youād hate for Pedan to feel unwelcome in Vancouver.
JUNE
June 14 - The Canucks , sending Rollie Melanson to Utica to coach the Canucksā goaltending prospects.
June 16 - The Canucks to a two-year, $3.7 million extension.
June 17 - The Calgary Flames as their new head coach.
June 20 - Andrey Pedan, Alexandre Grenier, and Mike Zalewski, but not Linden Vey.
June 22 - At the NHL Awards, Henrik Sedin is given the King Clancy Memorial Trophy for his leadership and contributions to the community. Henrik is given the award by Mark Messier, but when he lists past Canucks captains that āset the standard,ā he doesnāt mention Messier. Itās kind of amazing.
June 24 - Heading into the draft, itās thought that the Canucks are targeting centre Pierre-Luc Dubois with the fifth overall pick. When the Columbus Blue Jackets surprise everyone and pick Dubois third overall, all predictions are thrown out the window. The Canucks instead , thought by many to be the best defenceman in the draft.
June 25 - In the third round of the draft, , who is having a solid freshman season for the University of Michigan. In the fifth round, , 19-year-old , and in the seventh round, 20-year-old Rodrigo Abols and 19-year-old Brett Mckenzie.
June 27 - The Canucks that is curiously cheaper than what his qualifying offer would have been. Etem takes a discount for a one-way contract.
June 28 - The NHL for speaking about his interest in P.K. Subban and Steven Stamkos in an interview with TSN 1040.
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*If I've forgotten anything noteworthy that happened in the first six months of 2016, please let me know in the comments below.
