Parents who are worried that learning about sexual orientation and gender identity in school will influence their child’s development need to trust that their kids know best who they are, says a child and family counsellor.
At a protest at the B.C. legislature Wednesday against sexual orientation and gender identity discussions in schools, parents expressed concerns that their children are being influenced or even coerced in schools to question their identity.
Michele Worth, a Victoria counsellor who works with youth and families, including many trans youth, said parents need to understand that thinking about gender identity and sexuality are a normal part of the developmental process, and parents need to trust that their children know who they are.
“They trust their children when their children are like, ‘I like art, not math’ or ‘I like tennis, not baseball,’ or ‘I like tofu, not chicken.’
“There’s a million ways in which children are able to speak about who they are and what they value and what they like, and all the different ways they express themselves,” Worth said.
Parents are generally supportive about these kinds of preferences, but some struggle when their child is exploring a part of their identity that is outside the parent’s realm of understanding, she said.
The onus is on parents to inform themselves. In the same way that parents learn when to introduce solid foods to babies or what the best car seat is, they need to get curious about gender identity and sexuality to improve their understanding, she said.
Research shows that supportive parents positively impact children’s wellness and mental health, so it’s important for parents to trust their children when they’re exploring or questioning their identity, Worth said.
Jillian Roberts, a registered psychologist who works with children and families, said parents have nothing to worry about with what’s being taught in schools, because gender identity and sexual orientation are innate.
“It’s not something that’s contagious. It’s something that is for each individual child and family to explore on their own, and as a community and society we need to be open and supportive and to help children by answering whatever questions they have,” she said.
Primary students learn about diverse types of families, the consequences of name calling, pronouns, gender identity, stereotypes in media and LGBTQ+ human rights, while high school students focus on prejudice, respectful language and terminology and intersex biology.
Worth, who was at the legislature on Wednesday, said she was grateful to see that counter protesters significantly outnumbered those protesting against the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity lessons in schools.
While some have painted those protesting SOGI as hateful, Worth said she thinks they’re motivated by fear.
“We need to look for ways to breach those divides and have difficult conversations, rather than stand in defiance and in opposition,” she said.
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